Dear Grama

Dancing through life together

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April 28th, 1946

My Darling Nick,

Here I am sitting up in bed writing this to you wishing from the bottom of my heart that you were beside me.  Many thanks sweetheart for another letter I got from you this morning. I hope you are fine darling as this leaves me but minus a heart as you have that.  Everything back here is very much the same.  I went to the dog-races with Joe again to-night but we have both vowed for the last time as we have decided to pack it up.  I only lost about a pound, but Joe lost 4 pounds so we have come to the conclusion that it isn’t a paying game, so you now have a reformed wife darling.  After the races I went home with Joe and we had supper and a jaw, mostly about you of course, what else would I talk about.  Nothing else much happened to-day darling, I cleaned the windows in my room because I felt energetic, I haven’t much chance to using up my energy these days, especially now as I sold my bike, but a little bird tells me that I will be using a lot soon, P.G. What do you think darling? While I sit here and look around the room, I think of all the good times we had here, do you remember that night darling when I was teaching you how to dance and we were dancing with the light turned off, and then when we went dancing you surprised me because you could dance all the time.  I also remember the mornings that Lorne used to come up here and talk to us in bed, do you remember how jealous he was of us being to-gether, what price now, I bet he is enjoying himself with his wife these days, but never mind darling one of these days please God soon they will all be jealous of us two because we will be so happy to-gether.  The other day a customer said to me don’t you get tired of saying “No” and I said that I said Yes once to you darling and never regretted it, so she said she hopes I never will, but I know I never will darling.  Well sweet I guess I had better get down into the covers now as it’s nearly one o’clock and it’s work to-morrow.  So I will say Good-night darling hope to see you and love you soon not from a distance but in person.  God Bless You and pleasant dreams.  Good Luck.  Au-revoir.  All my love to you forever.

Your ever loving wifey,

Rene

I LOVE YOU (in x’s)

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April 28th, 2013

Dear Grama,

Last time to the dog races, eh? Well I’ve not been able to convince anyone to go with me yet (yes, even after 3 months), but I’ve come up with a plan.  Ryan and Suli are coming to visit in June and although the timing may not match up, at least I will be retracing your steps by going to the dog races with my big brother.  I am so excited for them to come for a visit to show them some of the things I’ve discovered over here.  We’ll be sure to take your advice though, and keep the betting to a minimum since it’s not a “paying game.”

Your mention of Papa and the memories you shared before he left make me smile.  It’s hard to believe that Adam will never see my flat here in London, but every time I go by places we visited while he was here, I remember the good memories, too.

One dancing memory I do cherish and will remember forever is a night we danced at a dear friends wedding.  We had only been together for 2 months, and it was that night that I realized that I loved him.  He truly is a dream come true.

You talking about saying “Yes” once and knowing that you would never regret it speaks to some things that have been on my mind lately about marriage.  The truth is, it wasn’t long ago that I wasn’t quite sure about the whole notion of marriage.  I found myself single for the first time in 10 years and not quite sure I even believed in the idea of finding “the one.” Obviously, I feel differently now, having said YES when Adam proposed because my perspective has changed.

I think in my single (and maybe a tad bitter) days, I just saw the negative about marriage.  The divorce rate statistics, the tough stuff that inevitably comes with marriage and the underlying risks there are with making that kind of promise.  The perspective that I choose to be in now, and what you so graciously model, is that it’s worth it.  What I’ve learned from you and papa, and every other amazing couple Adam and I are surrounded by, is that committing to sharing this journey through life together is one of the most beautiful promises you could ever make.  It’s promising to be true to someone through everything.  It’s promising to be authentic and commit to lifelong communication about everything that comes your way.  It’s promising to cherish one another, every single day, and honour the love that will get you through anything.

Grama, of course you know this already, but something else that makes me believe in the power of love, marriage and a promise to share life with one another, is the way Papa smiles and to this day says “I had the best wife in the world.”

With a granddaughter’s love & admiration,

Carly

Xoxox

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photo credit: dancing – Matt Lin, b&w – Mike Keo

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Would love to hear marriage advice from all of you lovelies reading my blog. Whether married for 2 months or 20 years.  Would love to hear from you in the comments below! Look forward to hearing from you! xoxo

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12 thoughts on “Dancing through life together

  1. Cecile Verheyen says:

    Love these pics…and again loved your letter!
    Enjoy Spring time in London…hope nature is as beautiful as here for the moment!
    Big hug Carly and go on…you are very inspirational !!!! So much “love” in your letters….♥it

  2. Karin says:

    Car, my advice to you on marriage when it hits a rocky patch is, “if you ever get feeling down about Adam because of (list his faults here) before you think any further (list your faults here). In my experience, I then start thinking, “Wow! I’m lucky he puts up with me.” 😉

    Love Karin

    • Thanks Karin! Such a great point! I feel so lucky that Adam is putting up with me & my ambitious, creative mind. He is beyond loving, supportive & encouraging of me on this journey. I am very lucky. Happy Anniversary to you! I loved seeing your wedding picture on Facebook! Hugs to you xoxo

  3. Aunt Tracy says:

    I agree with you, Karin! No one is perfect! There will be times when you disagree on things. But always remember to compromise and never go to bed mad! Always kiss each other goodnight and goodbye! I am also blessed that Uncle Paul puts up with me 🙂 It’s the little things you do for each other that will keep your marriage “young”. Always support each other and learn to work together! It makes life fun when you rake the leaves, cook a meal or go for a walk TOGETHER! Love each other for who they are, not who you think they should be. And keep God in the center of your marriage.
    Love you both!
    Aunt Tracy

    • Thank you so much for your beautiful words of wisdom Aunt Tracy. Truly inspirational. I love the idea of keeping things fun & always kissing each other goodnight & goodbye. This is lovely! So grateful to have so many supportive couples in our lives. Thank you for modelling it so well for us. Love to you xo

    • Bahhhhhh….I am so excited, Ry! I am equally as excited that you commented on my blog….I’ve made it BIG now! 🙂 Love you xoxo See you sooooo soon xo

  4. Lillian Reisch says:

    I miss you, Carly. This was your best letter yet. At least that’s what I think. Laura comes home in August with her British fellow, and I wonder if this person will be my future son in law.it feels good to see the next generation moving forward in life. Xo

    • Hey Lil! Thank you for your kind words. I miss you, too. That is so lovely to hear that Laura is so happy. Love is lovely! xo Hugs & love to you xo

  5. 18 years! when you requested advice, whether you’ve been married 2 or 20 years, I kinda wow’d at the thought of 20 and then realized we’ll be 18 in July!
    So, my advice is 1. keep having a jaw…always and forever. be comfortable with the silence but don’t shy away from a jaw that needs to be had. 2. in addition to loving each other for who you are individually, love each other for who you are becoming individually and for who the 2 of you are becoming together. 3. constantly see with new curious eyes – be awestruck by it all

    create from self, other, space and chaos
    when in doubt…give yourself to LOVE!

    • Oh Kristen…your comment gave me goosebumps. Thank you so very much & congrats on your 18 years in a few months. That it beautiful. Thank you also for mentioning to love each other & who we’re becoming. Of course we all grow…especially when that is a huge value of committing to lifelong learning & personal growth. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! Hugs and Love to you xoxoxo

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